Cat logs
by Yofuu
Summary: A series of journals written though the eyes of Marionette's pet cats Edward and Sebastian, documenting life with the newest edition of their household; Foxy. (Human AU)


_June 8th _

_It has been 2 months since Master has let the Red man live in our home, and already the cretin is trying to change things. _

_Ever since he appeared, he has been trying to rename Master, he now calls him "Baby"._

_Master is clearly not an infant, so I do not understand? _

-Sebastian

June 10th

_I can tell that Red man is trying to appease us._

_I was sitting on the sofa, staring out of the transparent looking glass that Master calls a "win-doe", and suddenly I feel a hand on my back. I look around and it's Red man petting me! He said I was "cute" and asked what I was looking at._

_Is he trying to mock me? The bastard knows I can't speak his language and can't answer his question. I ignored him and turned back to the looking glass; the Red man called me "rude" and left._

_I still haven't forgiven him for touching me so suddenly, he's lucky I didn't scratch him._

-Edward

June 13th

_I have had it up to __**here**_ _with Red man. Ever since he started living with us, I have never gotten to have a moments peace. Not even late at night where I thrive because now he is here to occupy the household._

_Just last night I was minding my own business lounging on the floor, Red man and Master were staring at the moving pictures on the device called a "tee-vee", I forgot what it was they were watching exactly, but I believe it was called "Maury", a show about humans finding out if their children belong to them and then run all over the place and fall over like idiots. I will never understand why Master and Red man always wish for the human male to not be the sire._

_Anyways, the human male turned out to not be the sire of the human female infant, and suddenly Red man and Master let out a booming laughter that startled me from my relaxed state. Thinking I was being attacked, I ran as fast as I could out of the living area, and accidentally bumped into the moving picture device, knocking it over. This upsetted Red man, as he cursed my name when he went to pick it back up._

_The nerve of that human. He nearly gives me a heart attack and then he blames __**me**_ _for knocking the "tee-vee" over. I would have enjoyed the act of inconveniencing him more if I weren't so offended. _

-Sebastian

_

June 14th

_Today I've discovered that Red man is invincible. When he was petting me again, I tried to attack him and bite his right hand, but Red man didn't react to my attack at all! How can this be? _

_His hand didn't feel like a human hand like Master's, it was hard underneath his black hand-shield, but his left hand looks like a human hand? Or is that what he wants me to think? I'll have to study Red man more closely. This discovery will make plotting his destruction problematic._

-Edward

_

June 14th

_It has come to my attention that Red man isn't in fact invincible. Sebastian told me that he's missing his right hand and has a fake hand, which is why he couldn't feel my bite._

_Know-it-all._

-Edward

_

June 27th

_I knew Red man couldn't be trusted. Last night I heard him attacking Master in the bedroom! They both went inside, and the last thing I saw was Red man lay on top of him before I was spotted and he shut the door on me. I could do nothing but listen to the screams of my Master as he was assaulted by the beast._

_The next day Master was oddly happy? How can you be happy after an attack? I pity my poor Master, he's clearly traumatized. I'll have to ask Sebastian about this later, he can understand Master better than me._

-Edward  
_

July 27th

_Edward is starting to annoy me almost as much as the Red man. I had to explain to him that Red man and Master were simply mating, and that he was not being attacked. The look on his face was priceless as he tried to figure out how two males could mate._

-Sebastian

July 4th

_**I HATE RED MAN!**___

_I have not gotten a moment's peace all day! Ever since Master woke up, Red man has been more obnoxious than usual! He just kept belting a song about America at Master non-stop! I pity our poor master, he too is irritated with Red man's behavior! But he will not stop! I have sent a prayer to the kitty gods that Red man loses his voice and cannot sing!_

-Sebastian  
_

July 4th

_Oh __**god**__, please make it end!_

-Edward  
_

July 5th

_He stopped! thank the heavens it is finally over! We are all relieved, Master included. I pitty Edward, he has taken to hiding under Master's bed, for it was the only place he could find peace and quiet. I pray that Red man never does this again._

-Sebastian  
_

July 10th

_Red man and Master are having an argument. I cannot not make out exactly what they were arguing about, but I heard the word "England" mentioned many times. Edward thinks that Master is considering going back. Is it true? Are we finally going home?_

_Master seem very distressed over this argument, it sounds as if he is crying…_

_Is the Red man hurting him?_

-Sebastian

July 10th

_Master has banished Red man to the couch._ _**Great.**_ _First he steals our Master away, and now he's stealing our lounge too? Disgusting. What if he leaves all of his gross red hair on it? Yuck!_

-Edward  
_

July 10th

_Red man is attempting to converse with us. At least...I think he is. It appears he is venting at nothing and hopes that we can understand him. The things that he is saying makes little sense, but then again I have no context. This is what he said to us._

"_**I feel sorry for you guys. You have to put up with him every day. Who am I kidding, he probably treats you little furballs better than he treats most people. *sigh* God, I **__**knew **__**this fucking thing was going to come back up. I told him I wasn't sure about going to- Ugh I didn't mean to make him **__**cry**_…_**.why did I say those things to him…?"**_

_****__At this point, Red man's face began to leak. I have seen this happen to humans before when they are in great emotional distress. After this, red man cursed loudly and got up. He grabbed his jingly keys and left, commenting that he needed fresh air. He did not inform Master about his absence. I hope he never returns._

-Sebastian

July 10th

_Things are quiet. Things haven't been quiet for a long time. Sebastian and I are enjoying our vacation away from Red man. _

-Edward

July 11th

_Master is in __**great**_ _distress! We were all sleeping, when suddenly we hear Master curse very loudly and run out of our home! Where is master going!? I am scared!_

-Sebastian

_

July 12th

_It is midnight, Master is back! We are glad!_

-Sebastian

_

July 12th

_We've discovered the whereabouts of Red man; he was at the human vet this whole time. Sebastian and I overheard a phone call from the human vet to our Master. Apparently Red man crashed his motorized vehicle into another human's, resulting in him injuring many parts of his body. He was upset at Master after their argument and it clouded his judgement._

_Master is very sad. He hasn't stopped crying since he got back…_

-Edward

_

July 13th

_Master is still __**very**_ _upset over Red man being at the human vet. And to be honest, I almost miss him myself. The house is unusually empty with him gone visiting Red man. Edward and I are very worried about Master's return. What if he leaves us again for years like he did last time? We do not want him to leave us again..._

-Sebastian.

_

July 14th

_We are worried about Master. _

_Ever since Red man left, Master has been either staring at his golden ring that he got from Red man, or sobbing. Sebastian and I tried everything we could to cheer him up. We chased shadows, we play fought, we even comedically ran into things like the cats on the moving pictures device do, but nothing's working. He just keeps crying. I do not think we will have a lot of time to update our journal in the future. Master is currently our top priority._

_It pains us to see him like this…_

_

July 21st

_Red man is back! The second they walked in the home, Red man and Master shared a disgustingly passionate kiss. Euck. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm __**glad**_ _Red man is back._

-Edward

_

July 21st

_Master and Red man were discussing England again. Red man asked him if he still wanted to go back home, Master replied saying _"_**Whenever I'm with you I'm home."**___

_I do not think we will be returning to England any time soon, but I do not care. Master is happy again, and thus we are happy._

_Master seems to deeply care for Red man. Whenever Red man is here, he is happy, and whenever he is not, Master is __**very**_ _upset. Something about Red man pleases our master in a way we have never seen before._

_Perhaps Red man is important to Master…_

-Sebastian


End file.
